nikhil.io

one hundred and eight things tagged “the worst

“I Fucking Hate Jira” is a collection of people sharing their feelings about one of the worst pieces of software I continue to use every day.

Jira is middle-management-ware, a term I made up for software that serves the needs of middle management, or, at least, the needs middle management thinks it has, which comes to the same thing as long as you’re selling to them. (link) Jira is a tire fire. It should be condemned and officially des…

Akhanda

Akhanda

(2021)

REALLY 📢 LOUD 📢 NOISES 📢. It’s really, really loud. This is Boyapati Srinu’s third movie with Balakrishna after Simha (loud) and Legend (louder.) Akhanda is the loudest and shittiest collaboration yet. The story is a complete afterthought and, very loosely, holds together punch dialogues, fight s…

Rating: D

When Does It End?

COVID Theater has become a sad thing to behold these days. Do we still wear masks? If transmission is mostly airborne, why do we get to take them off at restaurants to eat our food when droplets from a sneeze can travel in excess of 25 feet? What’s all this talk about a second booster? Is Omicron so…

Dhamaka

Dhamaka

(2021)

Absolute shit that was thrice as long as it needed to be. A total waste of my time and Amruta Subhash’s talent. When I was done, I wished I’d spent my evening watching every available video on the Island Boys on YouTube.…

Rating: F

Former Member of “Elite-Strike Force” Legal Team now on Illustrious Client’s No-Go List to Save him the Embarrassment and Discomfiture of his Association with Her

Forgot to add this to my Collection of Shitkraken. Two lawyers who currently work for Trump or in the former president’s inner orbit say they want absolutely nothing to do with her and have cautioned others in MAGAland to do the same. One said they’d recently deleted her phone number. Two other peo…

The “No Reasonable Person Could Possibly Believe My Bullshit” Defense Fails for Former Member of Elite Strike-Force Team as Judge Denies Motion to Dismiss Dominion’s Defamation Suit Against Her.

The Fearless Leader’s motion was denied as well. Pillow Bro as well. The best people. “As an initial matter, there is no blanket immunity for statements that are “political” in nature: as the Court of Appeals has put it, the fact that statements were made in a “political ‘context’ does not indiscri…

Pathetic Douchebag and Evil Douchebag Try Too Hard to Connect with Upper Middle Class Douchebags Who can Afford the Outdoors and Woodworking

Pathetic and Evil: “The next time you see someone in a mask on the sidewalk or on the bike path, do not hesitate,” Carlson said. “Ask politely but firmly: ‘Would you please take off your mask? Science shows there is no reason for you to be wearing it. Your mask is making me uncomfortable.’” “As…

Former Member of Elite Strike-Force Team Will Most Likely be Reprimanded by a Judge for Legal Ineptitude Over “Fluid” and Unpredictable Election

I’d really hoped that this embarrassment would’ve been forgotten a few weeks after January 6th. But here we are. “Should an attorney be sanctioned for his or her failure to withdraw allegations the attorney came to know were untrue?,” [U.S. Judge Linda Parker] said during a court hearing held by vi…

Fearless Leader of Elite Strike-Force Team Suspended from Practicing Law in Home State where he was Once Top Federal Prosecutor

This led him to miss a court hearing where his own lawyer sought to dismiss a billion-dollar defamation case against him. This is because the Strike-Force Honcho made “false and misleading” claims about the equipment used in the 2020 election on behalf of his Stable Genius client. I wonder how much…

Leader of the Elite Strike-Force Team Peddles Pillows for CEO who wanted the Former President of these United States to Impose Martial Law over Losing the Most Secure Election this Democracy has Enjoyed So Far

I still remember Giuliani’s stature and gravitas 20 years ago, when I arrived in this country. How the mighty have fallen. It’s almost as if The Orange Sphere of Shit corrupts all those who enter it. And comically so in the case of America’s Mayor. Rick Wilson, the GOP political consultant who cre…

W/o Ram

W/o Ram

(2018)

Watched because I’m a sucker for any movie that calls itself a ‘thriller’. A case-study in nepotism. She shouldn’t have been allowed anywhere near a camera. Good God. Vijay Yelakanti considers Lakshmi as one of the best female actors of this generation. While he was directing her for a commercial,…

Rating: D

We are Facebook. When a fascist, Hindu Fundamentalist government tells us their fee-fees are hurt by a hashtag, we Move Fast and Break Democracy to the pleasure of our shithead plasticine overlord.

Because the only thing that matters is delivering Value to shareholders. (cached) Incidentally, and to the “huh” of many Value-illiterate people, defending totalitarian governments is exactly how one gives “people the power to build community and bring the world closer together.”…

“The primary directive of a government is to serve and protect its citizens. The primary directive of a corporation is to make a buck. When you give the duties of the former to the latter, failure ensues.”

by @absurdistwords

::Deadly pandemic rages:: Texas: “Let’s mismanage energy so thoroughly that our citizens are compelled to congregate en masse in heating centers designed to keep warm air and breath inside.” Here’s the problem with deregulation and privatization of public services. The primary directive of a governm…

I’m not sure why YouTube’s Omniscient Algorithms recommended this video but I did not learn a damn thing about “After-Dinner Drinks” from the star of this pretentious watch and signet ring ad.

A guide to elegant post-dinner debauchery from Mr Wei Koh, watch aficionado, Style Council member and founder of The Rake Magazine, in partnership with IWC Schaffhausen. The ‘guide’ in a nutshell: “Drink whatever you want, with whomever you like, talking about anything you’d want to, on any day of…

Texan Lawsuit, filed by disgraced attorney who posted videos of himself at the Capitol Attack, cites “The Lord of the Rings” as justification for the removal of the new President and stewardship by the old President’s cabinet.

It would appear that my collection of batshittery is far from complete. “Gondor has no king,” the lawsuit states, a footnote providing an explanation of the woeful fate of Tolkien’s entirely imaginary land populated by dragons, wizards, hobbits and elves, all threatened by a baleful Dark Lord back…

It’s Not Over

Until all votes are counted. Until all votes are recounted. Until all votes are recounted by hand. Until the lawsuits are filed. Until the lawsuits are appealed at the State Supreme Courts. Until the lawsuits are appealed at the Supreme Court. Until the states certify the results. Until the electo…

A Conservative Plan

By Amii James (Instagram). Context was the Tories but applies to our fine people stateside as well. Tory ministers saying “we owe it to children to keep schools open” might want to explain to me why they closed my youth centre, cut mental health services, underfunded my secondary school, stripped…

“He was delighted.”

“And I’m sure you’ve also had conversations with other senior White House officials, as I have,” Sasse continued. “As this was unfolding on television, Donald Trump was walking around the White House confused about why other people on his team weren’t as excited as he was as you had rioters pushin…

This Is America

During the four years of the Civil War, the confederates never got closer to Washington than Fort Stevens. Until today, when insurrectionist supporters of @realDonaldTrump paraded through the U.S. Capitol Building carrying the Confederate battle flag. @JordanOnRecord The ultimate in White…

The Conservative Refrain

Starring Ted Cruz. It cannot be anyone else. /misc/w/why-am-i-persecuted.mp4 And there’s the 10-hour version (of course) for when a batshit-crazy, cultist conservative whinges about freedom and liberty and censorship and free markets and privatization and regulation and “corporations are people” and…

Mister Babcock is Just Fine

When conservative activist Meshawn Maddock obtained a list of allegedly dead Michigan voters, she didn’t report it to law enforcement. […] The list of 150 or so names was part of a larger file of more than 2,000 people who “voted in Wayne County by absentee ballot that are CONFIRMED deceased,” clai…

The Joke

Trump has been saying the pandemic has been totally under control since January, and said it would just “go away” in February. He reiterated this in March as the virus surged, and insisted we had “perfect” tests that anyone could get after reports of faulty tests. He said he wanted pandemic-relate…

The Kraken Is Dead.

Well, shit. Emphasis mine: … a judge in Wisconsin dismissed the fourth and final lawsuit, noting that it is voters, not judges, who decide who goes to the White House. “Federal judges do not appoint the president in this country,” U.S. District Judge Pamela Pepper wrote in a 45-page ruling. “One…

Bassakwardkraken

Despite being cut loose from President Donald Trump’s legal team, Powell is forging ahead with her election-conspiracy crusade to overturn Joe Biden’s presidential win. But the conservative attorney’s self-described Kraken keeps getting its tentacles tied in a knot of typos and errors — including t…

A Kraken of Shit

To the surprise of no one (well, normal people), “The Kraken”, authored by an ex-member of the “Elite Strike-Force Team”, turned out to be a “truly awful” and unmistakably QAnon-laced lawsuit full of basic formatting, spelling, and grammatical errors that would “drive a proofreader to drink.” From a…

Idiots Out Walking Around - II

Informed Choice Iowa is a group that “unites Iowans seeking to preserve their medical freedoms.” They are “pro-science” folk that count “ex-vaxxers”, “selective vaxxers”, “non-vaxxers”, and “vaxxers” among their members. I’m guessing that this list doesn’t include a single practicing physician. And…

Idiots Out Walking Around

Reynolds said election victories for Republicans in the state this week show Iowans support her approach. “It was a validation of our balanced response to COVID-19, one that is mindful of both public health and economic health,” Reynolds said. Because political victories, not cases or deaths, shou…

I'm Thinking of Ending Things

Saw with CK. Excited because Charlie Kaufman. Mostly self-indulgent tripe. The conversations in the car were interminably tedious1 and missing PBR hats and gauloises. The weirdness in the first third-to-a-half of the movie was excellent. Top-notch performances and camerawork. No, this is neither cle…

Rating: C

Should I Be Worried

is a simple and aptly-named COVID tracker that uses data from Johns Hopkins. As of September 1st 2020, my state of Iowa is #1 (woohoo!) with a 7-day infection rate of 261/100,000 people (“there might be 2 to 6 times as many recent infections”) and an R0 rate of 1.7. “Over the past 30 days, 246 peopl…

Every “safety plan” I’ve seen that would allow public schools to reopen requires that kids behave in ways that no child has ever behaved in the history of children.

Yep. And the tweet was in the context of school openings, but college towns like Ames and Iowa City, are no exceptions (like she continues.) I say we continue to doubt the science, exercise absolutely no discipline in the interest of the economy (because the Communist Kiwis maintain zero interest in…

Simpler Gmail

Michael Leggett, lead designer of Gmail from 2008-2012 “It’s like Lucky Charms got spewed all over the screen,” he says to me, as he scrolls through his inbox. It’s true. Folders, contacts, Google apps like Docs and Drive–and at least half a dozen notifications–all clutter Gmail at any given moment…

Fungi Are Horrifying

Every person I’ve sent this to has seen it. Not sure why my own internet excursions didn’t yield this manifestly horrifying video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XuKjBIBBAL8 The last few seconds reminded me of scenes from Annihilation. Like this one: Edit: It’s been used in Eastern Medicine for a…

Chennakesava Reddy

“No really, why do you do this to yourself?” - KS Features, in my estimation, the greatest solo special ops scene ever committed to film. No expert, but the knee-pillow fire might be related to why Seal Team Six attempted to destroy one of their damaged choppers. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgC6…

Rating: F

Node Modules

For a single project I made the mistake of working on in my Dropbox folder: Wonder what the downsides are to hardlinking by default. And, fundamentally, why creating an amazing, Python-like standard library is such an intractable problem in the first place. […]  core-js is also utils library, qui…

Baaghi

Baaghi

(2016)

Terrible. Expected this, so not sure why I did this to myself. Thought it was a weird mashup of Varsham and Dredd. Features this ‘Grandmaster Shifuji’ who attempts to act like a Kung Fu/Kalari master in the movie and a combat veteran and “special forces trainer” in real life. Watching what they did…

Rating: D
Srinivasa Kalyanam

Watched with JS and LT. A solid 2.5 hours of Telugu Sampradayam-porn for the 50+ members of your family. Culture and Tradition are static and immutable constructs that are absolutely not subject to examination and revision, especially when it comes to gender roles. Features cameos by yesteryear sup…

Rating: D