I go to a pizzeria at around 2:00AM.
“Hey man can I get a slice?”
“No man only burger.”
Turns around, gets back to putting trays away.
Think before you speak, don’t waste peoples’ time, this most certainly ain’t Kansas.
I ♥️ NY 🍕
(Two large slices, cheese and pepperoni.)
Was getting to know a fellow graduate student.
HIM: I found a cockroach in my apartment.
ME: Me too! Mine is named George. You?
HIM: Mine is Dead.
I ♥️ NY 🪳
“Do you take reservations?”
“How many?”
“Two”
“Just come in. Bye.” *Click*
I ♥️ NY
My friend ML adds “That or it’s ‘earliest booking we have is 2028’.”
Last night, I told the bartender that I needed to step out for a bit and if he needed my card.
“If you fuck off I’ll just have a Guinness won’t I?” and walks away.
I ♥️ NY 🍺